Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
