I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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