Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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