thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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