I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize