Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize