If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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