I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
