i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
