i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
