shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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