I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
