Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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