drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
