Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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