please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that