it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.