Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.