First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
