You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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