Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
