For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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