What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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