She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize