so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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