It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
