MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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