If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
