I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
