watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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