I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
