nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
