The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
