Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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