he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
