i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
