these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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