the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
