just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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