did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
