i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
