I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
where are you?
Hypothermia
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
