He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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