true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
