I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
