I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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