I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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