we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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