Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
