I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
