Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
