What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
