She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
