Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
