You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
