You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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