I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
