I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So vagazzling was a success
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
