dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
