Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
