im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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